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The Reality Behind the Life of an Adopted Child

In: Social Issues

Submitted By gorgeousmaiden
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Reality behind the Life of an Adopted Child

Anong magiging reaksyon nyo pag nalaman nyo na you were just an Adopted Child?
Siguro iba sa inyo mag fe-freak out, o iiyak, o mag-jo-joke pa sa mga magulang like “Ma, Pa is this a prank? Where’s the camera?” sabay tingin sa paligid, mag rerebelde, o magpapakamatay. Oh cut the crap! Ano naman ngayon kung malaman nyo na isa kayong ampon? Walang masama doon. Kaya if ever nga nagkaganon wag muna kayong maghanap at humawak ng blade saka nyo lalaslasin yang mga pulso nyo o di kaya humanap ng lubid at magbigti. Kasalanan sa Diyos ang magpakamatay. Read my story first and see the reality behind the life of an adopted child.

Alam ko hindi na bago sa inyo yung stories about adopted child kasi napanood na natin to sa mga teleserye sa tv. Ang kaibahan lang nun sa tunay na buhay, scripted sya.

Kadalasan ng kwentong adopted sa teleserye ay predictable. Tipong ipinaampon si Petra tapos napunta sa mayamang pamilya tapos inaalipin at ginawang muchacha. O di kaya napunta sa mahirap na pamilya tapos syang yung pinagbuhusan ng pagmamahal ng foster parents tapos yung mga tunay na anak ng foster parents nakaramdam ng inggit kay Petra at ayun, ginawa nilang miserable ang buhay nito. At ang ending ng storya, nakita nya yung mga tunay nyang magulang tapos mayaman pala sya. Oh diba? Ganyan kadalasan ang mga napapanood natin. Ibang-iba sa mga nangyayari sa tunay na buhay.

*

Bata pa lang ako ramdam ko na ang pagmamahal sakin ng mga magulang ako, pati na mga tita ko, pinsan ko at lola ko. Halos iparamdam nila sakin na espesyal ako sa kanila. Kada may lakad, lagi akong kasama. Lumaki ako kasama mga tita at lola ko dahil laging busy magulang ko sa pagtatrabaho. Naalala ko pa every Friday ng hapon hanggang Sunday ng gabi dun ako sa mga lola ko o di kaya sa mga tita ko ako nag s-stay dahil nga walang mag-aalaga sakin. I forgot to tell you guys, I’m an only child. Yes. Wala kong kapatid at nung mga panahon yon, hindi ko alam kung bakit wala kong kapatid kahit na minsan akong humiling sa kanila na gusto ko ng kapatid. Namuhay ako katulad ng ibang bata sa maglalaro sa umaga hanggang magdilim kasama mga childhood friends ko. Naenjoy ko din ang kabataan ko. Until one time came na nagpabago sa buhay ko…

Back when I was 9 years old, nag mall kami ng mom ko syempre bata mahilig sa laruan I used to pick every toy I see and ask her to buy it and without hesitation my mom bought it all. I know medyo nakakapanibago yun that time kasi my mom is so kuripot lalo na sa mga bagay na yun na walang katuturan. Hindi sya maglalabas ng pera agad agad.

After that, we went to food court kasi nga that time puno ung mga restaurants. I don’t remember na kung bakit, may occasion yata yun kaya ayun food court bagsak namin. I’m on the middle of playing my toys when my mom talked. Naaalala ko pa conversation namin nun.

“anak may sasabihin si mommy sayo.”
Tuloy lang ako sa paglalaro nun.
“ano po yun?”
Dahil nga magkatapat kami, umalis sya sa harap ko pagkatapos ay tumabi sakin. Niyakap pa ko.
“anak kasi-“
Hindi masabi ng mom ko yung dapat nyang sabihin kasi bigla syang umiyak. Syempre ako bata naiyak din ako at tsaka sino bang anak ang hindi maiiyak pag nakita nating umiiyak ang nanay natin diba.
“bakit ka umiiyak? Dahil po ba kay daddy?”
Yan yung tanong ko kasi when I was young laging nag aaway parents ko.
“hindi anak. *sniff* kasi anak may sasabihin si mommy sana wag sumama loob mo.”
“ano po ba yon?”
“anak alam mo naman na mahal ka namin ng daddy mo kahit na ang kulit kulit mo.”

Hindi ako sumasagot nun kasi totoo, wala namang perpektong tao e. Aminado ako na hindi ako naging mabait na bata noong mga panahong iyon kasi lagi akong laman ng guidance, malala pa doon lagi ko din silang kasama sa guidance kasi pinapatawag sila ng school ko dati. Maangas, maldita, at magaspang ang pag-uugali ko dati. Lagi akong may inaaway at pinapaiyak na bata. Dakilang bully ako dati.

“anak kahit ganun anak pa rin kita, kahit na hindi ka galling sakin.”

That was the time na “ahhh… alam ko na.” yun na yung pumasok sa isip ko pero ramdam ko sa mom ko yung hirap na sabihin sakin ung salitang yon kaya ako na ang nagsabi. Ako na ang nagbigay ng ultimatum.

“So, ampon lang pala ko.”
I said between my sobs. Nakakagulat lang kasi wala kaming ginawa kundi mag iyakan that time. Nalaman ko din na kaya hindi sumama dad ko dahil hindi nya kaya na sabihin sakin kaya kay mom nya ko ipinaubaya.

Nung una medyo natatanggap ko na sya pero may time na hindi kasi masakit tanggapin. At the back of my mind maraming questions that remain unanswerable. Like bakit ganto? Bakit ganyan? Anong dahilan?

Pero kahit na ganoon ang nangyari, pilit nilang ipinauunawa sakin na walang magbabago. Hindi na nila ipinaalam sakin ang iba pang nangyari basta alam ko lang. Ibinenta ako at sila ang nakabili sakin. Masakit isipin diba? Kaya since that moment I kept it as a secret and share it only to those people I really trust.

After the revelations from my parents medyo nagbago ako, hindi na ako ung laging palaaway siguro na rin dahil sa nahihiya na rin ako sa kanila dahil all this time puro sakit ng ulo ang ibinibigay ko sa kanila. Ako na ung umiwas sa ibang bata para lang hindi na mapaaway pero kahit anong iwas ko meron at meron pa rin akong nakakaaway.

Grade three ako ng maikwento ko sa isang teacher ko yung about sakin, umiiyak kasi ako sa klase noon, uwian at syempre dahil teacher they serves as our second mother sa second home natin which is school. There, she said I was so lucky to have parents like them.

The next day, nagulat na lang ako kasi bigla akong inasar asar na ampon pagdating ko sa school. Kahit yung teacher na napagsabihan ko nung secret ko ay nagulat din. At the end of the day, nalaman ko na habang kinukwento ko yung mga bagay na yun sa teacher ko meron palang nag-eavesdrop samin and presto! He made a revenge to me kapalit ng pang aaway ko sa kanya dati. Hindi ko naman sya masisi nung oras na yun kasi ilang beses ko na rin syang inaway at pinaiyak. Karma lang siguro yun.

Kahit sa mga pinsan ko nagkaroon ng changes mula nung nalaman nila na ampon ako. Akala ko masakit na nung sinabihan ako ng batang gumanti sakin na ampon ako pero mas masakit pala pag yung mga pinsan mo na mismo yung nagsabi sayo na “Ampon ka lang! Ampon ka lang”. Tinatanggihan nila din akong isali sa mga laro nila o di kaya pag nagpumilit ako bigla sila kakanta ng “Uwian na, Hindi na masaya. May papampam kasi.” Kung alam nyo yung tono.

Kahit ganon ang trato nila sakin, hindi pa rin nawawala sa isip ko na pinsan ko pa rin sila. Tanggap naman ako ng lahat ng kamag-anak ko naiisip ko na lang na baka nabigla lang sila. Hanggang sa kinausap sila ng nanay ko at nabalik ulit ung samahan namin. Hindi na nila ako madalas asarin na ampon kasi alam nilang magagalit nanay ko.

From private school kelangan kong lumipat sa public school because of financial problem.
Two years lang naman yun. Pero sa loob ng two years na yon feeling ko nasa impyerno ako.
Kung dati, ako yung bully sa private school pagdating ko sa public ako na ang binubully. Lalo na nang nalaman nila ang sitwasyon ko, they took advantage to that. Parang gago kasi yung pinsan ko e, nag away lang kami pinagkalat na agad. Na-experience ko na hindi makasali sa mga contests dahil lang sa pagiging ampon ko. Dun ako nakaramdam ng matinding racial discrimination. Pag nag-aasaran sila biglang mapupunta sakin tapos ayun dire-diretso na yon. Hindi ko sila pinapansin pero syempre tao lang ako, umiikli ang pasensya napapaaway ulit ako. Isa pa sa unforgettable experience ko is may taong talagang nananakit sakin physically, nandoon na pagpapasok ako bigla biglang nananapak sa braso sabay mang aasar na ampon stuffs like that. Kaya sinumbong ko na sa tatay ko at ayun hindi na sya nanakit. Akala ko tapos na sya sa pang-aasar pero yun pala hindi pa rin. Kaya ako, hindi ko na lang sya pinapansin.

Isa sa mga achievement ko is isa ko sa member ng volleyball team namin dati na sinalihan ko. Isinantabi nila yung mga bagay na alam nila tungkol sakin at tinanggap nila ko open arms and whole-heartedly. Sa kanila ko naranasan na may kaibigan pa pala ko na magtatanggol sakin. Kaso habang nasa game kami, nainjure ang tuhod at ankle ko. Yung feeling na nawalan ka ngpangarap, masakit e. Dun ako magaling, too bad bawal na ko mag volleyball.

Graduation. Isa sa event ng buhay ko na ayaw ko nang balikan. Alam ko dapat masaya diba pero hindi kasi ako masaya, sa school na yon ko naramdaman ung pain and sufferings. Maraming luha ang nasayang ko. Dagdag pa don na mas pinili ng nanay ko ung pagtatrabaho kesa umattend sa graduation ko. oh diba? Sinong matutuwa non. Pinagpalit ka sa trabaho.

Nag-sink in na naman sakin ung pagiging adopted ko. Naisip ko sino nga ba ko? Ampon lang naman nila ako e bakit nila ko pag aaksayahan ng oras. Nakakaiyak isipin at masakit tanggapin.

Dumaan ang high school, pinili kong ilihim sa sarili ko ang tunay na pagkatao ko. Mahirap na kasi baka mas malala pa ang maranasan ko kesa sa naranasan ko nung elementary even though may batchmates ako dati na kasama ko nung high school, pero hindi ko sila napakiusapan na manahimik na lang at naipagkalat nila ang tungkol sakin. Medyo okay naman sakin ang nangyari kasi natanggap nila ko at hindi nila ako agad hinusgahan di kagaya ng elementary batchmates ko at masaya ako dun. Pinakiusapan ko na lang ung ibang nakakaalam na wag na nilang ikalat at itago na lang nila yun sa mga sarili nila.

High school, hindi maiiwasan na magkaroon ng comparison sa pagitan namin ng pinsan ko na matalino samantalang ako average lang. Madalas akong makarinig sa nanay ko ng si ganto, Matalino, ganyan dapat ginagaya mo sya. Masakit sakin lalo na pag may achievement si ganyan, proud na proud sya tapos pag ako ung may achievement, wala lang. Parang nagdaan lang sa kanya kaya minsan hindi naiiwasan nasasagot ko sila tungkol dun. Ang resulta? Ayun nauungkat at nauungkat ang di dapat maungkat at sobrang sakit kasi magulang mo na mismo ang sumasampal sa pagmumukha mo ng bagay na ganon. Buti na lang may sarili akong kwarto nakatulong iyon para umiyak ako mag-isa. Naiisip ko pa nga noon, ano bang laban ko sa kadugo? Sampid lang naman ako sa pamilyang to. Naranasan ko pa na pag may ipabibili ako, pinapagalitan pa ko pero pag ‘sila’ ung nagpapabili labas agad sya ng pera. See the difference?

Lagi kaming nag aaway ng nanay ko at kada nag-aaway kami tabla na agad ako. Naisip ko magrebelde pero hindi ko tinuloy dahil kahit papaano sumasagi sa isip ko ang kahihiyan. Pero dumating yung time na tinamad ako mag-aral nawala ako sa honor roll. Ikaw ba naman magkaroon ng nanay na ganun hindi ka ba tatamarin?

Pero binago ko lahat yun kasi naisip ko kung ipagpapatuloy ko yun, sino bang mahihirapan? Ako lang din naman.

Ngayon, masasabi ko nang malaki ang pagbabago ko kasi dahil sa experiences kong yun mas naging strong akong tao, Mas matured. Hanggat maaari pinipigilan ko na ang sarili ko na wag sumagot sa magulang ko. Nagkaroon kasi ako ng maliit lang naman na galit sa kanila pero wala na yun ngayon.

I KNOW HABANG BINABASA NYO TO NAPAPAISIP KAYO KUNG GALIT BA KO SA TUNAY KONG MGA MAGULANG.

Masasabi kong OO pero hindi rin. Naiisip ko din kasi baka mahirap sila at sa sobrang hirap nila ayun naisipan nila na ibenta ako. Oo kasi pakiramdam ko isa akong hayop na iniwan nila at ipinamigay. Oo kasi hindi sila nag-iingat. Oo kasi pabaya sila.

Pero hindi rin. Hindi rin kasi kundi dahil sa ginawa nilang pagbenta sakin baka nagpapagala-pagala na lang ako sa kalsada, na baka isa na ako sa mga call girl sa Quiapo, na baka maaga akong nag asawa at nag-anak.

Hindi maiiwasan na may galit parin talaga ako sa kanila, kung sino man sila. May time na hindi ko nababati ng ‘Happy Mother’s/Father’s day’ sila nanay ko at tatay kasi feeling ko binabati ko rin sila, eh yung galit ko para sa kanila nararamdaman ko pa rin.

Thankful ako kasi ang ganda ng buhay na tinatamasa ko ngayon. Nakakakain ako ng higit sa tatlong beses isang araw, may bahay akong tinitirhan, may mga magulang ako na kumupkop at nagmamahal sakin, nakakapag aral ako hindi lang sa public kundi private school at university. Naibibigay lahat ng gusto ko.

I shared this story of mine hindi para kaawaan at kainggitan ako o kung anuman kundi para ipaalam na kahit adopted o hindi pantay pantay lang tayo. As long as nararamdaman natin na mahal tayo ng magulang na kumupkop satin let’s take it as a blissful blessing at ibalik din natin yun sa kanila. All of us are not perfect kaya okay lang na magkamali pero kailangan natin magsorry sa nagawa natin at itama natin ung mga maling bagay na nagawa natin.

Kung may kakilala man kayo na adopted gaya ko, treat them the best you could. Yung walang halong discrimination tao lang din kami may damdamin at marunong masaktan. Damayan sya pag may problema. Meron kasing mga adopted na gaya ko na pag nalaman nila na ampon lang sila nagrerebelde o di kaya nagpapakamatay. Hindi kasi nila matanggap. Kahit ako hindi ko din naman agad na natanggap yon kasi masakit. Masakit ang katotohanan pero we need to move on at kailangan nating tanggapin yon whether we like it or not.

Alam ko din na hindi lahat ng adopted e, kasing swerte gaya ko. Merong adopted na napupunta sa pamilya na sabihin nating may hindi magandang family background o di kaya pamilya na laging nag-aaway.

Masarap mabuhay. Kahit na may times na feeling natin may kulang. It’s our choice kung hahanapin pa natin sila or hindi na.

And my choice is NO, wala na kong balak na hanapin pa sila. Masaya na ko sa buhay ko ngayon.…...

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... Running head: NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND 1 No Child Left Behind Deanna Nick ENG 122: English Composition II Allison Boldt February 01, 2015 NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND 2 No Child Left Behind In 2002 the No Child Left Behind Act was passed in order to ensure quality education for all students in the public schools of the United States. As a piece of both egalitarian and neo-liberal legislation, its aim was to bring quantitative progress to all school-age youth, especially those in lower-achieving schools. No Child Left Behind Act was to achieve this goal by testing students' proficiency in three subjects: math, reading, and science. Through this standardized testing the government would hold schools accountable for the progress of their students. However, the result has been far from the progress intended. As a result of No Child Left Behind, class time is spent teaching to the test, and the social sciences are being ignored. Not only does the drop in social studies education present a risk for the students in high-stakes testing schools, but it also widens the inequality gap between students and presents a threat to the communities around them; for this reason parents, students, teachers and community members should push for increased emphasis on engaging social studies education in schools. Social Studies and the Test While math, reading, and science are tested by every school in the country, social studies is not. It is easy to test math skills on a......

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No Child Left Behind

...Professor Weslea Bell Erica L. Smith November 23, 2014 English 215 Professor Weslea Bell Erica L. Smith In 2001 President Bush presented the “No Child Left Behind Act of 2001”. He wanted to emphasize equal access to education and establish high standards and accountability. While in office, President Bush intentions were good however the Act itself has raised many issues and concerns with parents. Even though we all share the common goal, which is to better educate our youth, we must look more into depth regarding the pros and cons of the “No Child Left Behind Act”. The Act hinders our children, effects the ethics and morals of the school system, and our economy (Eugene Hickok, 2002). The thesis statement is the argument of demands of the reform “No Child Left Behind” have resulted in insufficient provision and implementation of services for special needs students in “failing” schools. The “No Child Left Behind Act” affects many, but perhaps the most affected are the children. The law was enacted to improve our children’s academic achievement, yet it has hindered them. Our children go to school 180 days out of the year and in those days they are expected to learn the necessary tools to help them be successful in the next grade level and in life. The Act raises concerns because it allows children to be promoted to the next grade level without meeting the requirements of the grade level they are currently in. This along is a major......

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No Child Left Behind Act

...| | | | | | | | The No Child Left Behind Act Outline “The No Child Left Behind Act” is the most recent reauthorization of the Elementary and Secondary Education Act (ESEA) of 1965. This law holds the states as well as the schools accountable for the academic achievements of the students as funds are being supplied to the states for this purpose. This law requires quality teaching by highly qualified teachers and yearly assessment of student progress in English, mathematics and science skills. The progress of the students needs to be reported in terms of percentage of students scoring at the ‘proficient’ or higher level. Different subgroups categories need also report the progress annually. A standardized test method has been chosen in each state and based on the scores in that test the performance level of the students and their schools is judged. This law acquired huge range of controversy since its......

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No Child Left Behind

...No Child Left Behind: Reformed Education By: Alicia Faulk University of Phoenix June 22, 2015 Rebecca Hewett President George W. Bush signed a new education bill that may change the way you learn at school (“No Child,” 2002, p. 4). Advocates saw it as a way to hold schools accountable and provide workable standards of proficiency in education (“No Child,” 2015). Even though the No Child Left Behind Act was passed in 2001 it wasn't signed into law on January 8, 2002 (“No Child,” 2004, p. 1). The No Child Left Behind Act (NCLB) is to ensure that all kids receive a first class education, making sure teachers are highly qualified, and the schools accountability to ensure that the children are learning by test results. The NCLB Act is aimed at improving the performance of every public school (“No Child,” 2002 p. 4). According to (Sunderman, 2009, p. 547), education is typically viewed as a state and local responsibility related to core educational functions, but the NCLB move this relationship in the direction of expanding the federal role over states, while strengthening the roles of states over local districts. While the No Child Left Behind Act of 2001 (NCLB) is the most significant and controversial change, the government assumed a major role in education in the 1960s (Sunderman 2009, p. 546 ). The new bill also requires all states to "set high standards of achievement" for students, and forces them to come up with ways to measure student......

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